If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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