May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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