Quick, to the slutcave!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize