I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
