Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
