After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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