There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
someone owes me an orgasm
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
