I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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