just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
