Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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