was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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