I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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