you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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