Where are you?
In a non slutty way
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
