I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
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I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
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Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize