Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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