I wannas sexs uuuuu
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
