you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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