If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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