I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
