You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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