You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize