He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
