This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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