I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
