me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
