your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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