fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
