The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
