I wish I only lived at night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
