nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
