you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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