I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
