Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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