It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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