You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
