i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
