I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize