I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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