dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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