I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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