I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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