Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize