the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
