I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
