Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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