Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
