Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
