i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
