hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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