Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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