Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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