Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
In America we eat man semen.
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sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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