I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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