Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
