I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
