My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
